Any advice for someone feeling lost?

Sometimes I just feel like I haven’t lived at all. I mean after high school I lost contact with the few friends I did have. Still dont have any. I didn’t have a job until I was 20-21? I suffered from depression, self harm, and severe as anxiety for years until I finally got help. Then I met my boyfriend at 21 over tinder and have been with him ever since. I’m now almost 28. And don’t get me wrong I love my boyfriend. We’ve definitely had our ups and downs, some near breakups years ago, but we’re in a good place right now.

Right now him and I live with my younger sister who is 23 and her boyfriend’s house with my other younger sister who’s 21. Even with that,my 23 year old sister and her boyfriend of 7 years are engaged and have a house.

Meanwhile I’m nearly 30 and have yet to find a career, haven’t gone to college, am pretty broke, all the while thinking about how I haven’t even lived or really felt like an independent adult.

And when marriage gets brought up between my boyfriend, I feel nervous and scared. Scared that marriage means I’m stuck in one spot forever and will never get to find myself or experience more of the world. And those thoughts make me feel terrible because I love him so much.

I also have a brother who’s 30y/o who is having the first baby in our family. It’s got me thinking about if I want kids. My boyfriend said he does NOT want kids and with his low tolerance for crowds and loud people he admits he cannot handle a child. I told him I didn’t want kids either, but what if I change my mind? What then?

Is it wrong for me to feel these things? Any advice?

Please be kind.