When to let the man take charge with the kids and when to step in

Me and my husband have a very traditional marriage. We have 6 kids. He's the provider. I stay home and take care of the house and also cook while raising the kids. We have 4 boys and 2 girls. He teaches our boys how to be strong men and providers. Teaches them all the mainly work and I teach one of my daughters (other one is too young) how to cook and clean. We do all the cleaning. Over the years my husband has gotten more verbally aggressive. He seems mad and yells a lot at our children. Two years ago my second oldest son started to pee in his bed. It was out of nowhere and hasn't stopped and it's made my husband more angry. In our family his the disciplinary parent. I'm the nurturing one. My mother always tells me to never get in the way of a father disciplining his children because what seems harsh to us is what they need. I took my son to a doctor and they can't figure out why it happens so I just have my daughter do his laundry and we move on but my husband gets more and more mad and throws the remote at him because he got tired of it. It missed him and almost hit my toddler and I got really upset. He did apologize. But has continued to behave like this. Broke my daughter's phone because he threw it at one of the boys. I told him he can not throw things at the kids and he left. I do not want to overstep on his parenting. He's the parent. And before anyone says divorce our religion is extremely against divorce and he is a great husband and man of God. I just need to know when I need to step in or just let him discipline how he sees fit?

@Nadia again this is how our family is. My husband teaches our sons(That are old enough) how to be a man and provider. I teach the girls (That are old enough) how to be a wife and mother. We do all the house work. I had her do his laundry because that's our job. My son is 15 and he has other responsibilities like keeping up with the yard. Helping with the car issues. They all have their own jobs. I didn't ask you to disect my family dynamic

Edit: I do not like my husband's behavior but don't like people throwing around the word abuse. He's not abusive. He's frustrated. He works 40-50 hours a week. Sometimes the kids can be a lot. And to add when you already have 2 kids who aren't potty trained and your older child who's 15 randomly starts peeing his bed it adds stress. He is wrong but not abusive

@Syndey if that's the case than why aren't all my children wetting the bed if my husband is so horrible and abusive? Why is he the only one?