Am I being unreasonable?!?

Question

Ok, so my boyfriend of three years texted me today saying we were going to his families this year for thanksgiving and seeing his friends after.  This is complete news to me,  we’ve always spent it at my families and this year my brother and sister in-law + their kiddo will be in town.  I’m not annoyed he wants to spend the day with his family I wouldn’t mind if he went however I find it so annoying that he waited until the last minute and then tried to unilaterally tell me what the plans are. We’re already supposed to go down there this weekend I thought to spend time since we wouldn’t be at Thanksgiving there.  Am I being unreasonable? I don’t want to spend the day without my family.

Answer

I would go to his family’s since he always goes to yours. Maybe go back to see your brother and sis in law after when he goes to hangout with his friends.

Answer

Can you not see both? Or are they to far apart? Maybe try alternating thanksgiving. That’s a choice you have to make you’re not married yet so you’re not obligated to spend thanksgiving with anyone.

Answer

If you've always spent it with your family then it's time to spend it with his family. Its just as important to spend time with his family as it is yours. Can you both find the time to spend time with both families on the same day?

Answer

These times of year always involve compromise for young couples. I remember traveling from one side of the state to the other on the same day to celebrate with multiple people. There’s also the option if you both going to separate events alone. We’ve also done alternating gears etc. 
Maybe he doesn’t know how to communicate his wants without sounding ‘matter of fact’. You need to have a discussion about it and come to a decision otherwise this will just turn into a fight.

Answer

Thing like this really need to be a mutual discussion vs him telling you how it's going to be, especially if you already confirmed with your family. If you cant go to both then maybe spend the holiday separately and in the future alternate years to be fair.

Am I being unreasonable?!?

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