My narcissistic verbal and mental abusive relationship i seperated from am i doing the right thing

I am going through the exact same thing right now except i have found someone already that is kind and loving and cares deeply about me and my feelings. My ex will not take the blame for why our relationshipis ending all he keeps saying is"oh ya its all my fault" sarcasticallyand he tells me im a home wrecker and that im the reason that our relationship is ending because i cheated well i didnt cheat i just started talking to someone else before i seperated from him. Hardest thing right now is trying to get out and get out on my own to begin the healing process because of the emotional and mental damage that he has caused me. I caught caught him on the couch under a blanket with another girl in my own house and when i removed the blanket her pants were not up on her waist and his hand was up her shirt under her bra on her boob , and i literally begged him all night to come to bed and told him because i had a feeling something bad was gonna happen and he told me no im not done partying and drinking and then i woke up to that at 3 am. Then a week later he asked me to have a 3 some with the same girl. He tells me its just because he was drunk but like i told him that is not an excuse for what he did. I was completely devastatedand extremely hurt because i was so in love with him, and now im a very broken person and over the years ive realized now all the last 15 years the manipulative and narcissistic and mental and verbal abuse he has done to me and i have an ocd tendency to pick to deal with my emotions so over the last 10 years it has gotten bad and am completely scarred and damaged from head to toe. I feel like im never supposed to find happiness and that im never supposed to find someone who actually loves me for me, and i thought that i knew what love was and apparently i was so wrong. He is now sorry for what he did and wants to reconcile and try counceling but he is now wanting to do all this only after i seperated from him and he has found out i am talking to someone else. i dont think that i could ever trust him again and it hurts to have to break apart my family and to see my kids have to go through this, but i need to heal as a person and find myself again completely before i can decide what i am going to do as far as dating someone else or just being alone for a while. I am in complete shambles and just cry everyday about this. He constantly is yelling at me and starting arguments in front of the kids and telling me because i go out on night a week to watch a football game that i am putting my kids on the back burner and that i need to be an actual mom for once when i have always been the one who does everything with and for the kids. I have a hard time dealing with what he says.to me constantly such as i will find someone to replace you and to be an actual mom to our kids. It is a constant breakdown for me daily. I dont know if what i am doing is the right way to go about it all but i am just seeking to find myself again and to find happiness in my life that is healthy so i can show my kids what a real relationship is supposed to be and what love really is, and what it isnt supposed to be.