I'm starting to think about the idea of having children but I know my husband would never go for it

I don't know if I actually want children or if I'm having a crisis because I'm almost 40. Me and my husband both said no to children. I've never wanted children but now that I'm almost 40 and hitting closer to menopause I'm starting to think about it. I randomly asked my husband his thoughts on having kids now and he just said "Absolutely Not!" My husband had a very bad childhood and he deals with depression and suicidal ideations. He had two very abusive parents. His big reason for not wanting kids is because he knows he would not be a good father and has too many mental health issues to ever be able to truly put a child first and doesn't want to bring kids into the world just to pass on trauma to them because he has tried to kill himself several times. He's had manic episodes and all in all I do agree that we don't have the healthiest environment for a child. I'm really not sure if I actually want kids or am just having a midlife crisis.