Am I wrong for trying to help my husband see his mom's point of view?

Me and my husband are in marriage counseling. He brought up something in marriage counseling about me defending his mom when it wasn't what I was trying to do. Our therapist said that I am coming off insensitive to his trauma. When he was 13 his mom killed his dad in front of him. I'm not condoning his mom at all BUT the reason was because his dad had an affair with her sister and her best friend all while she was having a miscarriage. That side of the family told me everything. His mom pretended she wanted to get back together with him and stabbed his dad in front of him. I strongly disagree with this and understand why he was traumatized because she told him to remember this is what happens to cheaters and never cheat on a woman and cut his dads throat. My husband said he didn't remember what happened next because the trauma made him pass out. He's 37 now so it's been 24 years. He despises his mom and all I've ever tried to do was get him to see a different point of view. I told him he's a man so he can't understand a miscarriage or how she could have possibly felt to go through that and be cheated on. Our marriage counselors says it is wrong because I know his dad was his safe parents and I completely understand that and I have even said that I'm sure his dad was a good parent. Shitty husband. He told me he's done hearing my opinion on that. He doesn't want nor respects my opinion on his traumatic event. Which our marriage counselor did say he should stick with he doesn't want it and how saying he doesn't respect my opinion is phrasing it in a way that causes conflict. But he already said it. I understand it's his trauma and end of the day it he wants to hate him mom and love his dad that's his prerogative. Not like I knew either. All I've ever tried was to have him not villianize his mom too much. You can hold her accountable without completely villianizing her and just glossing over what his dad did. I honestly don't care that much because it's his trauma and has nothing to me