I wish i did my research.

I recently had an surgical abortion where i was 14w 3d. I am still coming down from my hormones so a lot of this can be talk due to my emotions being all over the place. But i really resented that i was pregnant. I didnt want another child yet. I wasnt in a good place mentally. I just lost my second job within 4 months. My relationship failed. I had bad postpartumdepressionwith my first child where i almost didbt make it. I bled alot with him where it could of gone bad so very tramtic. However given all that and the reason i could keep the baby i still feel so much guilt and hatred towards my self. I wish i didnt do it. But part of me feels relief. I just wish i was.never put into this position tbh. Please ladies do so much research talk to therapist doctors pro life and pro choice peopple please have support as i did this all on my own and lied to my family which.made it worse. Adoption wasnt an option and birth still didnt feel like it either but yet i still hurt and mourn the lose and choices i did. I wish someone at the clinic stopped me. I wish my ultrasound teck stoped me. Someone beside my pro life family. I wish i had more info about what really happens and how even in a sound mind the.pain and guilt after can be worse than if you kept it. Research do so much reasearch. Prevent your sisters fellow women from being put into this position. Conceptionstarts at ejaculation. I dont wish this guilt.and.heartach and what ifs on my worst enemy ever. Prevention from getting to this poibt is key. And yes i do get some of us really have no choice but this option and i really do believe its still a safer option for most. Just if your like me and have a big heart do your research truly.