Hot take

If/when I get cancer I'm not going to fight it. I love my children but I can't. I'm not any kind of warrior. I don't want to be balled or have to sell my house for chemo. I don't want to be so sick I can't do anything. And I know it's coming for me tbh it might be my thyroid or my blood that takes me out. I know this because I've had problems with my thyroid for years and my aunt had the blood thing it could be breat cancer because that's what my mom has. It could be renal because thats what took out my dad. Plus I'm just tired of life and I'm tired of the constant anxiety. I'm useless to keep alive I've never done anything with my life and I could blame it on my up ringing or I could blame it on the education system or being poor. The truth is I already know what's in store for me I'm just going to get a job I hate and work until I die always just surviving and never living. I was born low class and I will die low class that's how it is in the United States. I came I saw I didn't like it so hopefully my shitty genetics will do me at least one favor and just make it end. It's against my rules to do anything to speed up the process. I just don't have anymore fight I've been fighting my whole life I was a foster kid I had dreams of being a lawyer or a police officer that's not going to happen. My mom was a drug addict alcoholic. My dad was the only good parent I had and my mom demonized him since I was 4 so I always thought he was a bad guy he wasn't and I went with him when I was 15 my life was perfect for 4 months then my mom came back and fucked everything up then my dad died when I was 16 and I was on my own in a tent so yeah I'm not going to fight any kind of cancer I'm just going to roll with it .not that I can afford treatment anyway.