Husband says hurtful things, stuck in my feelings

My husband and I have been married almost 10 years. I will admit marriage has been difficult. It no longer comes easy like it used to. We have children together and got married young. I work 40-42 hours a week and my husband has been working about 35. He picks the kids up bc I commute a bit to work. I usually rush home and give the other kids a bath with him after they have eaten so yes he makes dinner throughout the week when he’s home. When I’m there for dinner I will make it. Once dinner is finished I’m usually running my other kids to practices and bringing them home. Sure I can help clean a bit more. I try and do what I can. He usually does laundry. He seems to think I don’t help at all. Usually there are dishes piling up. He makes comments to me that I need to respect him as the man, the only things I have to do to make him happy is food, sex and cleaning and that he doesn’t ask much of me. Which these statements upset me. He wants to make all the decisions because that’s what a man is supposed to do. We were on our way out of town for one of our daughters sporting events and he argues with me the whole way down. He was mad I didn’t clean up a bit the day we left . It was my first day off in over a month and I was playing with our son so I wanted to enjoy it. He tells me I don’t listen, he’s miserable and has been for awhile yet the day before saying he can’t live without me and love bombs me that he loves me so much. I’m to blind to notice he’s miserable but he’s never shown me, told me or even acted like it. I start to cry almost the whole ride down. He says nothing. I hide my tears so my kids don’t see and they couldn’t hear our conversation. He then says he wants to work on things and that’s he just wants help. And then acts like I should just be over it and everything is fine. I think this was all really hurtful. He has said things out of anger to me in the past. My husband does have some emotional issues being a veteran but I just can’t get past this. Idk am I overreacting? Should I let this go. I’m m very hurt still and I can hold grudges when people cross me. I just feel betrayed maybe I’m not even sure.

Thanks for reading if you got this far.