Sex addiction is ruining my life & I think I might be gay?

My addiction is ruining my life. I feel so disgusted with myself because sometimes I can’t stop myself from being so freaky. I’m 25. I lost my virginity at 13. Sex/masturbation has dominated my life since I was 7. I was exposed to some adult content by mistake after being on the internet at 7 and developed a porn addiction. It got really intense once I figured out how to make myself orgasm with it years later. I’ve had 1 abortion, and 4 miscarriages from accidental pregnancies between 19-24 as the result of my addiction. And my sexuality…I’m starting to think I’m gay or at least heavily bisexual at best. It’s crazy because I don’t label myself bisexual but I’ve always been attracted to women sexually, women’s bodies turn me on a little bit more then men bodies despite me loving men and mostly dating them/sleeping with them. I’ve only had 2 girl on girl experiences in my life but I find myself lately fantasizing MORE about it.

Sometimes even seeing women in non sexual situations turn me on if they’re beautiful or sexy. But I still very much like men sexually, and the ravaging feeling of being with a man makes it hard for me to go fully into girls. I told a close friend and they said ir could just be my sex addiction messing with me and making me overly turned on. But the way I get wet seeing women/being with women, I can tell it’s not just something I’m hyping up.

Im in therapy currently for my sex addiction, but it’s hard because the therapy session is basically talking about sex most of the time and the triggers and sometimes even that turns me on. I have a male therapist and I was telling him I get distracted some days by masturbating too much and I felt the tension in the room shift slightly, and I kind of got an urge to ask him “Wanna watch me do it?” I know that’s wrong but lol ugh!!!

ATP I think I need electro shock therapy because I’m just too horny. Joking but VERY very serious.