Do you hide certain toys when you have guests over?

Question

My daughter is six and we've always encouraged her to keep toys she doesn't want others playing with in a safe place out of sight when she has friends over.

She has one friend who is more rough with things than most, so when she's over, we tend to put out toys that are sturdier or that my daughter isn't super attached to. Inevitably, something almost always gets broken with this friend.

One of my mom friends was horrified, and I mean judgemental and horrified, that I do this. She said that children need to share and learn to not be attached to material things. She said I'm teaching her to be greedy. I said this doesn't teach her to be greedy. It teaches her healthy boundaries.

As adults, we do the same thing. We don't invite people over for dinner and have things on the table that everyone wants to eat but is only for us. Similarly, we don't often give people our favourite mug or lend out things that have sentimental meaning. She disagreed and said I'm instilling a selfish heart in my daughter 🙃

Am I a weirdo for teaching my daughter this?

Answer

Your friend is insane. As an adult we don’t walk into someone’s home and start trying on their clothing. We don’t open the drawer next to their bed and pull out whatever they keep in there and use it. We all have personal property that we don’t share with anyone. Why would a child’s personal property be different? My kids put away anything they don’t want to share. I would assume that’s how every household functions. How entitled of her to believe everything that exists is there for her to touch.

Answer

I put certain things away when certain people come over. Literally nothing wrong with that at all! She is still sharing but if you don’t want to share something special you absolutely do not have to. Does your friend think it’s okay to share husbands? (I’m being sarcastic)!

Answer

Ask if you can borrow her car and if no tell her she needs to learn to share and not get attached to material things lol. To us kids' toys may not have value, but for them their favorite toy is like a car, cellphone etc and setting boundaries doesnt mean youre stingy if overall youre giving and considerate towards others.

Answer

Nope, your friend is being dramatic. Absolutely ok to be selective with which toys to put out. We don't all visit our friends and start playing with each other's kitchenaids, dysons and other expensive toys lol. Kids need to learn boundaries too... not just sharing. Absolutely fine to teach your daughter how to be selective with what she wants other's touching. I would never put out my son's favourite teddy to which he has an emotional attachment to. Anyone who makes comments like that wouldn't last with me lol.

Answer

Your friend is wild. Yes it’s good to teach them not to get attached to material things but there is nothing wrong with keeping certain special toys away when others are over . She’s still sharing her other toys! It still teaches her sharing . This isn’t selfish and you’re right , adults do the same thing . If I had someone coming over that I knew would not respect my things or my children’s things , I would put it away so no one can play with it at that time . Your friend is weird for acting this way .

Answer

Everything you said is on point. Your friend is off.

Answer

My kids are great with sharing, but they also know that they can put away any toys that they aren’t comfortable sharing. Normally this is just their favorite stuffy.

Do you hide certain toys when you have guests over?

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