Husband pushed me

So the other day, my husband and I got into a argument and I wanted him to talk so that we could get it over and done before we go to bed - I don't like sleeping on an argument. He didnt want to and I was tapping him to get his attention and he physically pushed me away quite violently. I said 'can you be be a man and talk about your problems instead of acting like this?' He ignored me. The next morning when I asked him to talk about it, he said that if he had got up at that moment to talk further, he would have beaten me so bad that I would've been in the hospital and we would not be together anymore, despite us having two children and spending almost 8 years together.

We've recently moved to a new country and we both have a lot of stress with setting up a new life here, he also has family here but I don't.

I've been quite off with him since and he apologised to me the other day to say that he didn't mean anything that he said but I'm still feeling quite like I can't trust him and I'm on edge every time he gets into bed or reaches over. I told him this and he said that because I pestered him enough to reach that point of pushing me, it's my fault and he's saying that I should've got over it by now instead of being silent. At this point I'm just not talking to him unless I have to and I feel like he should be making more of an effort with me to apologise and make it up to me but now he's telling me that if I don't become normal then we're done.

So now I'm waiting for him to get home from work so that I can be 'normal' because I can't really separate from him, just gotten ourselves into a new country & I have no job, no income and 2 toddlers.

I just don't know how to shake it off or make him understand it will take me some time to recover... he seems to think he should be the only one hurt because I was at fault in the initial argument we had.