Weight gain saddness

So today i saw my husbands family for the first time in years and his grandmother decided it was appropriate to tell me I’ve gained weight which i have. Honestly it just really killed me inside. Since i saw her I’m about 30lbs heavier after having lost 10 lbs recently. I was really starting to feel better about myself. A lot better than i have for a really long time. and that just shredded every bit of new confidence i was gaining. We are on a beach weekend and i don’t even wanna go to pool or beach or really be seen again. I’m so embarrassed by my body and really hate even looking in the mirror. But that reminder that I’m still fat just ruined my weekend and i dont think I’ll be able to shake it off. I’ve struggled with self love and image for sooooooooooo long… I’m just tired