Am I in the wrong?

Question

Today we told my husbands side of the family about the plans for when I have my c section next weekend. We told them that we will have baby on Friday so they are more than welcome to come on Saturday. My MIL replied by saying she would be there after work on Friday. I just told her our other two children are going to be with my parents & they are meeting them before anyone on Friday. I said that my husband and I have agreed that my family can come Friday evening & his can come Saturday. She flipped her & said that I was being disrespectful by letting my family come first. She said the day of her birth is not something I should keep them away from. I just explained I didn’t want a ton of people bombarding us right off the bat & to please respect our wishes. I just told her I know how painful c sections are & it’s our last baby. I want to hold her myself when I literally just had her not having people constantly passing her around when she’s 5 hours old. She told me I was gaslighting her & being immature. Also, that they are also second to do anything with us & always come second. 
Am I wrong for asking for this for when we’re in the hospital? I’ve been crying all day over it & so stressed out. I wasn’t being mean at all & just letting everyone know our wishes & plan.
Edit** my husband did chime in & tell her our wishes & why & she’s still mad.

Answer

I'd tell her she can't come at all.

Answer

I’d text back “ok you can come Sunday instead then <3” and then not respond further lol. I’d make my husband take over anymore communication with her and putting her in her place. Your birth and hospital stay is not the time for her to bring up how she feels left out of the loop with things or communications. If she doesn’t like how her son manages his relationship with his family, then that’s a problem for her to bring up with her son and not you. My MIL pulled that same line with me once that she always came after my parents and I let her know any problems she has with her relationship or communication with her son is for her to bring up with him and had nothing to do with me.

Answer

Nope I would make it known at the hospital that if she shows up she is not allowed to know where you are or to go to your room. Fuck that how disrespectful of her it’s not her child she shouldn’t be acting like that

Answer

It’s your husbands mom, he needs to step in and let her know what your guys want and she needs to respect that

Answer

It sounds like you are favoring your family, which is totally understandable. Is it possible for your MIL to come alone? It sounds like your husband has a huge family and that’s why you didn’t want everyone coming on the day of birth. But mother-in-law‘s have a special relationship with their son, I know that’s how it is with my husband. It would be really hard to get in the way of that. But, at the end of the day she should respect your wishes if you don’t feel comfortable with having her there the same day. That would be wise on her part.

Am I in the wrong?

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