Feeling so defeated… I just wanna cry

Yesterday I had really loose stools three times. I know it can mean nothing but it got my hopes up. Yesterday evening I also started having lower back aches that came in waves with a few contractions. I woke up this morning & felt fine. Slowly I started getting quite a few Braxton Hicks contractions. Then I started getting lower back aches coming in waves again. I had really bad back labor with my first baby. I also noticed calmer/less movement so thought maybe something was going to happen. But now it seems like everything is subsiding & im so sick of these teases. I’m 38 weeks along & feeling so defeated. I’m so jealous of everyone who has had their baby. I have an appointment today with an NST. I just know my doctor is going to say no contractions & everything is fine. My c section is scheduled for next Friday the 12 at 12:15 but that seems so far away right now. I’m over it😭😭😭😭😭