Feels like I’m begging for bare minimum ?

Question

I’ve pleaded, asked, cried, yelled.. wrote down.. discussed again and again about how I need help at home besides my husband just mowing the backyard. I do EVERYTHING at the house. Plus take care of our baby full time, I work full time and I’m going to school. I can’t do everything. He always says he’ll work on it and then he quits after a week of “helping”. 
I had the discussion again with him before Mother’s Day.. he told me it was in his DNA and that he wouldn’t be changing. That he would probably stay the same as he always has and that I knew what I got myself into before I married him is what he told me today. 
We are hardly EVER intimate due to mostly him rejecting me for 95% of the time porn. We lack everything intimately and I’m trying every damn day for that in some way. 
We hardly ever talk anymore.. he isn’t interested but gets upset that I’m quiet… which I’m quiet because he doesn’t care and doesn’t listen. He refuses marriage counseling for anything. He rejecting me again on Mother’s Day and it’ll be over 2 months that we will have done anything but a peck on the mouth since he’ll be out of state for work. He lies to me about everything. Had a day off from work before he came home from being out of town. Instead of checking on me or his son, he ignores us for 2 days, golf’s it up & chills at the hotel.. lies to my face on FT about “how he was working all day long” just so tired and couldn’t talk to us. Then lies to me again and said yea he went golfing but his boss paid for it. Then hours later he tells me he owes a guy $60 for golf clubs and he bought everyone beer for $40. I could care less that he went, it’s the lying! Why lie about it? I just feel more alone married then not but I’m terrified to be done more then anything. I don’t want my son to grow up how I did in 2 separate homes. That was complete hell and my mom regretted their divorce everyday until she passed away. I just want to scream. Please, please tell me I’m not alone? That this is just a season??

Answer

No, you’re probably not alone but this is not a healthy marriage. I’d start making an exit plan. What are you really holding onto? Imagine it’s 2028…..do you still want to be living this way?

Answer

Normally, I suggest sitting down and expressing your feelings and expectations and couples therapy. But since you said he won't change or go to couples therapy, if you're really done with him and don't want to deal with this for the rest of your life, then I say your only other option is divorce. Yes our childhood and "DNA" play a part in who we are, but marriage requires compromise. A partner doesn't get to say "oh well this is just how am" if they want a marriage to work. There’s going to be times when a person has to go through change for the sake of the marriage and family. It seems like he doesn't care and actually takes pride in not helping around the house or being a good husband and father 🥴 that’s not a man to be with. He has growing up to do. But he already told you he's not changing and won't go to couples therapy so to me, the only options are to stay and put up with it or get a divorce.

Answer

Think of yourself and your son. Your baby’s sperm donor is showing your son how not to be a good parent and partner. Sometimes kids are a product of their environment. You need to step up, move out, and show your son what not to do because he sees his dad treating you like crap and then he will because he thinks it’s ok because daddy’s does it. When he is out of town for work either pack your stuff and get out or pack his stuff change the locks and file for a divorce. Best wishes

Answer

Honestly I would be packing my bags or his and leaving. Never beg anyone for the minimum. You're basically single anyway at least this way you would get a break when he takes your son. He's refusing to change so stop asking

Answer

He flat out told you he wouldn’t change. What are you begging for? Leave him.

Answer

Divorce. 
Seriously, you’re only going to make yourself unhappy. Possibly depressed. The longer it goes on the more damage you’ll do to yourself and confidence. And it isn’t healthy for you or the junior mint. 
While he’s neglecting you, start putting things together so you can exit safely and without worrying about your future. You deserve someone who makes you happy. Everyone does.

Answer

Pray first . I understand you don’t want your son to grow up in different households, but you have to choose what’s right for yourself, your mental and your son. That’s not a way to live ! If you have family , go hang out with them for a while (supportive and strong people) . The porn the disrespect.. NO!! People will treat you how u let them treat YOU ! Do be a doormat . Most importantly move in silence 💪🏾I pray that you don’t stay too long bc hurt ppl hurt ppl and time is of a essence . Sending my love and support too you !! Amen

Answer

This is not a season, you need to leave. He straight up told you he’s not going to change.

Feels like I’m begging for bare minimum ?

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