A little backstory: my husband and I got married 7 years ago. Leading up to my wedding I was collecting RSVP’s and calling those I didn’t hear from to figure out if they were coming or not and of those people was my grandmother. Now my grandmother isn’t someone I’m super close with. Growing up she’d sometimes be there and disappear and continue the pattern so I was never close with her. And up until that point she had met my man twice. She was invited because she’s my grandmother but my over all feeling towards her was rather indifferent. Anyway she didn’t rsvp and left me on read when trying to confirm she was or wasn’t going. So I just marked her as not attending and figured maybe she’s just busy or something. I was honestly indifferent about it. Move forward I got married and the day after the wedding my grandmother took a photo one of my sisters posted from my wedding that she didn’t attend and essentially trashed talked me and my husband. When I read her post I was shocked because she literally had no reason to have a problem with him. It was bizarre to me. She pulled the whole self pitty card and self righteous card and the “concerned grandparent” card when she didn’t even know what she was talking about. And the post was just a long paragraph of nonsensical gibberish that was an obvious cry for attention. So i didn’t respond to her public Facebook post because that’s just weird. I just deleted her on Facebook and decided I don’t need that nonsense in my life. If she doesn’t want to be supportive that’s fine that’s her choice. Again there was nothing that happened before hand, no arguments no her reaching out to me. Her post 100% caught me off guard.

So life went on for the past 7 years. Peacefully. I had two children with my husband and it was well known to everyone that my grandmother was not welcome in my life or my children’s life. When family functions would happen we’d co exists but keep our space.

Now, my sister is getting married next weekend. And I saw a glimpse of the seating chart. On the chart she has my husband and kids sitting at a table with that grandmother!! I’m with other bridesmaids. Turns out my mom and my other sister have been arguing with her that is not appropriate with all things considering. Everyone has issues with this grandmother btw. She’s the kind of woman to shoot her self in the foot and then get mad at everyone she’s in pain and then make a Facebook post about it how sad she is. I made the choice years ago for my own personal mental health to not have her around me. And everyone understands that and agrees with me. She says the reason for the seating is because she didn’t have a choice but I looked at the chart and she definitely could of made it work. I expressed my serious anxiety over this issue because the last thing I was is this to end up in a screaming match or something. And now we are dreading the travel to her wedding and worried for this reception. Once my grandmother sees this chart she’s gonna cause a scene 100%. My sister’s logic is we are all adults and should know how to behave. While there’s some truth to that, she seating mes this woman with my kids knowing it was going to cause problems. It’s like mixing mentos and coke and saying there better not be a reaction. And my husband is beyond uncomfortable about this whole thing and doesn’t even want to go to the reception now. And my husband is 100% the kind of man that would react if my grandmother says or does something upsetting.

Ugh any advice id greatly appreciate.

-sad confused and frustrated momma.