Advice on starting the newborn toddler relationship right??

Question

Hi everyone,
I’m looking for your stories/advice on how you successfully introduced your newborn into your toddlers life. He will be 20 months when baby arrives and I’m so scared to do it wrong and impact their future relationship. 
How did you successfully create a happy sibling relationship as they grew? I’m scared I’ll do it wrong and they’ll hate each other

Answer

Mine are 21 months apart. We read my toddler lots of books about being a big sister before baby was born. Bought her baby dolls to play with. Let her get cozy with my belly and talk to the baby. Took her to the store and let her pick out a present to give the baby.
On the day she met her sister, we had baby in a lounger so that my arms/lap were free for my toddler. She gave baby her present and we also had a present for baby to give the toddler. We let her love on the baby quite a lot (always watching very carefully!) and tried not to say “no” too much.
In the first few weeks I always made sure to tend to my toddler’s need first as often as I could, even if that meant baby needed to cry a little. And I’d say out loud “Sorry baby, you need to wait, I’m getting your sister her lunch first” etc etc so that toddler knew she was being prioritized. And then she didn’t mind it so much when I had to tell her to wait if I was doing something for the baby.
I let my toddler be involved in everything (bringing me diapers, wiping up spit up, burping the baby, picking out clothes, bringing her toys, giving her a bath) but also I never force her to do those things. If I say “Could you please bring me a diaper” and she says No, I don’t make a big deal out of it. Her sister is not her responsibility.
We went through a hitting and biting phase. She loves her sister so much but at the end of the day she’s still only 2, she can’t control herself. It is what it is.

Advice on starting the newborn toddler relationship right??

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