Someone tell me I’m not alone

Okay so my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year we live together and have been talking about having a baby. There’s no doubt that he doesn’t love me. Over all I’d say we have a great relationship. So we have kinda gotten into the whole pegging thing and he enjoys it. Well I found some stuff on his phone that he’s been messaging guys whom he’s had sex with in the past ( no one knows except me) he sends pictures back and forth talks about meeting up but I don’t think he ever actually does. He shuts down when I bring up the topic and says it’s not who he is it’s the drugs. (He’s in recovery now) but I can’t seem to question if that’s something he truely desires. Is it going to continue. I love this man more than I knew possible. But now I’m super insecure and I hate it.