What should I do when my son throws a tantrum ?

Question

So my son is 20 months and the older he gets the more curious he is about things and he knows what no means. When I tell him not to do something he gets really mad and usually throws himself back if he’s on the bed or starts crying and gets very angry. I’m not sure how to react to it? Like should I let him cry it off or should I carry him and hug him? Can someone please give advise. Please no judgment as I am a ftm and I’m learning as I go!

Answer

Redirect the situation. “Hey, where’s your favorite book?” “Did you know that mommy had a good day?!”
Don’t react to the tantrum itself. 
Say things like “I know you’re sad but we can play with that toy tomorrow.” “I know it’s hard but let’s go play in a fun bubble bath.” “It’s okay to be mad but you could’ve gotten really hurt which would’ve made mommy sad.” 
Once they calm down, you can ask if they need a hug. “That was some big emotions. Do you need a hug? Do you feel better?”

Answer

Let him have his tantrum. If u coddle him while hes having a tantrum he will think hes getting rewarded for throwing tantrums

Answer

Redirection and communication is key. If you see little one touching or playing with something little one shouldnt, redirect his attention you could say "uh oh, we are touching or playing or in an area thats unsafe we have to play with your toys *give him one of his toys* that are safe in an area that is safe for you to play" then you can explain to him why its dangerous to touc,play or be in that specific thing or area. If a tantrum does erupt you could say " oh no, we have a cranky little guy on our hands" then take him and lay him down and when he is calm, you can let him start over and again explain to him "when mommy sees you have a meltdown like that it makes me think you are tired and need a nap". Or something along those lines. Just keep being persistent with it.

Answer

Saw a video about gentle parenting and the opposite of gentle parenting both in the too harsh and too soft sense. Say the child is playing in the bath and turns on the water even though there’s too much water already. Too harsh looks like (yelling) “hey! Turn that off right now or you’ll get a spanking!” Too soft looks like “please turn the water off…. No? Ok, I guess you’ll figure it out.” And “just right” gentle parenting looks like (in a stern but calm voice) “The water is already too high. You can either turn off the water or I can turn it off for you but we are going to be turning off the water right now so that it doesn’t overflow.”
This doesn’t necessarily help with the tantrums but it’s a thing my mind goes back to when I’m trying to keep my own emotions in check so that my child can imitate my reactions to things.

Answer

Ignore it
The more attention you give to a tantrum the more they’ll do it for the attention 
I tell my son that I understand he’s sad or angry, explain why he can’t do something and then ignore the rest of it

Answer

It can be helpful to turn it into a discussion. 'Do you know why that's not a good idea?' Or 'Do you know why you're not allowed to do that?'. They'll put more focus on talking and thinking about it than the 'No you can't do that' but you'll still get your message across.

Answer

I usually let it go in a couple mins but it’s usually over by then (not always). I explain I know she wants ___ and explain why she can’t have it now. After the couple min point I’ll try and distract or ask if she needs a hug. She usually calms down after that

Answer

say i know you are upset but i cant let you do that. do you want a cuddle/ hug. redirect where possible

What should I do when my son throws a tantrum ?

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