I wanted to be pregnant so bad

I wanted to have another baby so bad and the disappointment of af starting always crushed my hopes. I finally am pregnant with baby number 3. I am roughly about 9 weeks along and I feel like I’m in hell lol. This pregnancy does not compare to my other pregnancies at all. I never had the pleasure of experiencing morning sickness now I’m puking on the daily, I have a SH so I had bleeding and concerns of a miscarriage my mood swings are off the charts and my back constantly feels like something is squeezing the hell out of my spine. Long story short I’m miserable asf and honestly being in constant pain everyday is starting to become depressing. I am trying to remain hopeful that this will get easier but I’m really losing hope 🥺