Baby’s father wants mom in delivery room!?

Question

Am I over reacting? I keep telling him that it will be him and my
Mom. If the hospital allowed more than two people then of course your mom could come but why the hell would I tell my mom I don’t want her there just for your mom to be there…..you’re not the one having the baby.
Am I over reacting? Or is he being weird and selfish trying to make our experience solely about him? His mom can come in directly after. But the hospital we are going to be at only allows 2-3 people in the delivery room and the way im starting to feel…he won’t even be there because wtf!?

Answer

I am shocked every time I read a post like this about a partners family wanting to attend the delivery. 
You, mom, are the patient - this is more about you than baby. Birth is personal, vulnerable, potentially scary. It is not a viewing party. And anyone who thinks it’s a spectator event knows nothing about birth. You get the say to who is there. The end.

Answer

Some guys have a 'shes a grandma too' argument, but your mom isnt there as grandma watching the birth, shes there as your mom supporting you, the patient, through your birth and medical procedure. Being naked, crying, screaming, pooping etc in front of your mom is not the same as someone else's mom. Theyre not equal status here. It baffles me how some people (men and their moms) dont seem to get that.

Answer

It would be a hard core HELL NO. I’ve already told my partner when this baby pops his mom will not be in the room until after. I’ve done an L&D rotation in nursing school and believe me no one but the person who sees your vagina on a regular and the person you came out of should see that. It’s such a vulnerable moment! I told my partner if my mom can’t make it (due to being out of state) it will be JUST me and him. He agrees completely and has no argument for it. You’re the one giving birth, not him. It doesn’t matter if she’s the grandma or whatever. YOU are the patient and you alone chose who is allowed in the room. Trust me you talk to your nurse the day of and tell her that 9 times out of 10 she will heavily advocate for you. If he doesn’t want to be there because his mommy isn’t allowed in the room then that’s a damn shame. Miss your child’s literal birth all because mom can’t get a view. How immature of him.

Answer

Ask him if he’d be comfortable being naked and in pain and spread eagle in front of your mom. For hours. While going through the most intense experience of his life. Potentially pooping in front of her definitely straining and worrying. 
It’s YOUR delivery. Not his. Yeah it’s his baby too but it is absolutely not in any way his delivery as he isn’t laboring or delivering anything. You get to decide who is there are YOU are the patient.

Answer

Yeah no, you are the one getting bare and vulnerable!! YOU decide who gets to be in the room with you!!! I had my mom there but I didn’t even want my mil to know we were at the hospital so we didn’t tell her until after the baby was born

Answer

Mine thought his mom would be in the room & it was a fat no especially since mine wasn’t coming. He had an issue with it and I didn’t care because it was ultimately my decision and my comf￼ort 🤷🏾‍♀️, I also said nobody at the hospital which I’m glad I did because I was so exhausted and overwhelmed.

Answer

I’m putting my foot down this pregnancy. My in laws weren’t there for the pushing with my last but I was sick as a dog deep in labor and he invited his dad and aunt and mom in and they were all talking about after and what to get to eat and I hated all of them. Honestly, I’d rather be alone when it’s time this time. ￼I’m a deeply private person IRL and it just stresses me out to be so exposed w an audience

Answer

I wouldn’t hesitate to tell my boyfriend to F off lol. I love his mom, but there is no way I’d have her in the room instead of my mom if it had to be one or the other.
Order of priority is:
1) Bf
2) My mom
3) His mom

Answer

He and his mom are being wierd and selfish. Im so glad my husband didn't pressure me to have anyone there when I was giving birth. YOU are the patient, this is about YOU and your baby. Keep standing your ground, and don't give in to your husband's childish demand to have his mommy there.

Answer

This is why I am glad were I am from only 1 person in birthing partner and that’s it. So they be none of this who coming in or not. Honestly you be better if just choosing one (your partner or your mom) to stop the conversation coming up.

Baby’s father wants mom in delivery room!?

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