Need a lot of advice on what to do… feel like my marriage is ending…

Husband and I have been together for almost five years married for almost three. Have two kids together ages 2 and 4.

The first year we were together I had noticed some bad hygiene habits of his that I didn’t think would be a continuous issue. He rarely brushes his teeth, maybe a few times a week at best but there’s been times he’s gone at least a week without doing so. This obviously causes really bad breath. I’ve brought it up how it puts a barrier in our relationship because it’s very hard to really kiss him or be intimate.

The other issue is constantly finding “skid marks” (poop smears) in his underwear. There have been times I’ve even found crumbles of poop on the floor when he takes his clothes off to shower. If he takes a bath there will be crumbles and smears in the bottom of the tub. I’ve brought this issue to his attention as well. I’ve even tried getting him to use wet wipes but that was a no go.

With both issues he’s always in denial or has an excuse about it. I’ve been addressing it for years and he tells me “if it was a problem then why did you marry me”. This isn’t my reasoning, but I was pregnant and thought people have accidents or may be lazy at times and didn’t think it would be a continuous problem. If we do have sex there’s times there will be a poop mark where his butt lays. We haven’t been intimate in months but it’s something you obviously need in a relationship.

What has recently really pushed me overboard is last week when changing a filter in the utility room I found a pile of underwear hidden behind our furnace that had poop all over them. I brought this up and it was another excuse from him. I tell him I’m not trying to insult you or make you feel bad, I’m bringing up these issues because I care and that this is severely impacting our marriage and makes me not want to be intimate with him.

On top of these issues he’s being controlling. He doesn’t like me wearing makeup ever unless I have a good enough reason or special event I’m going to. He makes fun of me for going to the gym and says the only reason I do is for attention. Doesn’t like when I post any selfies on Snapchat. Has a problem with me playing volleyball one day a week as a hobby. I just feel like he wants me to live under a rock and the issues he has he’s refusing to work on. It’s to the point where my feelings for him have severely dwindled.

At this point I feel like I’m only staying because of the kids.