All I ever wanted was to be a mommy. And I am I have the most perfect daughter in the whole wide world and i love her more than anything but I always wanted three kids and it just feels like it’s impossible. The first time I got pregnant I had a miscarriage took me two years after that, to conceive my daughter, then after I had her, I kind of wanted the next one to be close in age so we started trying second time I got pregnant at my eight week appointment there was a sack, but no baby.  I had to have a DNC and then they said it was more than likely that I wouldn’t have another miscarriage. I got pregnant again right away that a chemical pregnancy then got pregnant again, another chemical pregnancy I took a break for three month. Had a procedure done where they remove the pollups in the uterus. Because maybe that was causing the miscarriages. Now i just got pregnant and having another chemical pregnancy words, can’t explain how lost and hurt feel how defeated I feel when I was trying to conceive my daughter I just couldn’t conceive and I now have no problem conceiving I just can’t keep the baby it’s so tiring and emotionally draining I don’t know how much more I can handle the heartbreak. I am so grateful for my daughter. I just wanted to make her big sister but I feel like it’s impossible. And yeah I could try again and most likely I will get pregnant again. What are the chances that I’m actually going to have a healthy pregnancy? I am emotionally drained and pregnancy after loss is unimaginably hard can’t even get happy when you see a pregnancy test because you’re honestly just waiting for the bad news to come waiting for the blood wipe waiting for the cramps to be more intense. and thats my life.