He doesn’t get why I’m mad

I’ve explained it to him in detail and he still doesn’t get it.

We were on vacation the last week. We left last Monday and drove 10.5 hours. I’ve been suffering from really bad hip (more so on my left side) and lower back problems so car rides are tolerable with stops added in. We stopped two times that day. Okay my hips and back were sore but I was able to handle it. Then not only that our daughter who’s 2.5, got sick on the back seat. So while we were driving I was twisted around trying to clean her up and catch the puke. I felt so bad for her.

Yesterday was the worst. My husband is the driver on trips. He doesn’t like anyone else to drive. So he woke up at 5 AM. I told him we should give baby girl a little bit of time to wake up before we headed out. That I felt it’s when she’s half awake that she gets sick in the car. “Nah, she’ll be fine. She’s been great all week.” I pushed and said no she needs time. He woke her up and put her in the car. Then just like last Monday… two hours in and puke all over her. There’s me trying to catch it and clean her up while hanging in the backseat. I was so mad at him. I told him we needed to stop and give her some rest. NOPE. He kept driving. Why? Because there was a storm moving across a city we were going to be driving through. When? 4 HOURS from where we were! 4 hours.. I didn’t yell at him because I didn’t want to upset my daughter. I told him it was extremely unfair for him to expect her to sit in her car seat wet for another 4 hours. He said that he didn’t want the storm to scare her. He finally stopped another 2 hours later. This is 5 hours into our trip. My hips are hurting because I have now been sitting on only my left side to try and keep my daughter happy even though she’s having meltdowns.

We get in the car and I tell him that it was incredibly mean of him to allow his child to visit in puke soaked clothes so he could miss a storm that was hours away from us. He said it wasn’t that bad. She’s a toddler and doesn’t want to be stuck in the car without breaks. It’s cruel. That he needs to do better. Praise God she fell asleep for a nap a couple hours later and could have some peace.

My hips were on fire and I couldn’t get comfortable. I kept telling him they hurt and he kept saying just a little further. The city the storm was supposed to hit (but never did) had bad construction. So it added 2 hours to our trip. My daughter had just had it she was having meltdowns and I was desperately trying to keep her calm while sitting at a bad angle for myself. I couldn’t sit in the backseat because there were bags and a cooler. I couldn’t lift any of it due to weight restrictions. At the 10 hour mark he stopped for 5 minutes so I could pee. But no longer because we had to get home because he was back to work today (he works from home).

My daughter woke up in the middle of the night for 3 hours. I slept God awful because my back and hips. This morning my husband tells me it wasn’t that bad. Just make a chiropractor appointment and it will be fine. That’s not the point. The point is his absolute lack of disregard for anyone else that was in the car yesterday. I’m ashamed that I didn’t advocate for my daughter better. I’m mad at him because he only thought about himself. That it is unfair to expect other people in the car to not get bathroom breaks for long periods, for your child to sit in vomit soaked clothes for hours and to know about my back issues but ignore them. All just because “we’re making great time”. All he had to do was drove the car and I handled everything else.

I’d rather fly with her for a couple hours then drive with him ever again. He doesn’t like flying and I’m scared of heights. But I’d rather do that then put her through his crap again.

He says that I’m being ridiculous and “whatever”. May I’m being over the top in some things with myself but not when I comes to my child.