WARNING-very long and may be triggering to some. Regarding teenage/family violence.

We had an incident the other evening with my fiancés almost 15 year old son. My fiancé and his Son have always “play wrestled”, it’s something they’ve done since he was little, however, it’s gotten to the point where his Son is trying to prove to him that he’s “bigger and badder” and stronger, and in the end, he always ends up extremely pissed off crying, pretending to be hurt. He flat out told me a couple of times that he pretends to be hurt so he can tap out without looking like he’s weak. I told him he needs to talk to his Dad about that because if he does really get hurt, we’re not going to believe it.

I’ve told my fiancé numerous times they need to stop because someone’s really going to end up hurt or worse. He’ll agree, but then it happens again. So the other night, this was happening, and apparently his sons necklace flew down the floor drain (they were in our workshop). His Son immediately got so angry, kicked a large trash can over and trash flew everywhere, started screaming at the top of his lungs, then hit then ran out of the door and slammed it as hard as he could.

He came back in still crying and screaming and I calmly told him to calm down that we could fish it out, that it wasn’t a big deal, we’d be able to get it out. He continues screaming and yelling, so I finally got loud with him and told him he needed to calm down, and go sit down for a second. He never would do it, he just kept yelling and crying and then told me I shouldn’t be talking to him the why that I did and I need to stay out of it. I told him I got loud with him because he was being so loud that I couldn’t be heard by speaking softly.

He’s continuing to yell, and my 11 year old daughter gets extremely triggered, so she started crying and yelling at him to stop and he calls her a stupid fucking bitch and me. My fiancé got pissed and acted before thinking and grabbed him by the jaw and shirt to pull him towards him to look at him and told him to never speak to me or my daughter like that again, that he needs to calm down and stop acting this way. That’s when is 15 year old attacked my fiancé. I ended up in between them trying to get him off of him, and when I was finally able to kind of get him to back off, and when we thought the tussle was over, he reached around and punched my fiancé in the eye when he wasn’t paying attention. It wasn’t good.

In the end, his necklace didn’t even go down the drain, my Daughter found it on the floor a couple of hours later after things had settled down. All he did was say thanks and continue playing on his game. He did apologize to his dad for blacking his eye but I’m just in a situation where I don’t know what to do or what to say. This is not the first time something like this has happened, it just hasn’t ended with an injury. I feel like we all need to have a serious convo about all of this because if this is happening now, our future scares me.

Edit: my fiancé has never been violent or short tempered. That’s the first time I’ve ever even seen him in that light. He grabbed his jaw making him look his direction and pulled him by his shirt towards him and told him to never speak to me and my Daughter that way again. He wasn’t trying to hurt him, nor did he hurt him, he was just trying to get a point across that it wasn’t ok for him to do that. He was angry and couldn’t believe what he had just heard from his sons mouth over something that in the end never even happened.