Complete Agony...

So I have had a rocky pregnancy. After an emergency cerclage at 21wks and bedrest for 10wks (though I wasnt very strict with it, I have a 2yr old) and a few hospital stays... I feel like I am in way too much pain.

Its got to the point where I cant walk or stand for more than 10minutes without cramping. I feel like the bed rest ruined me because I didnt move much for so long and now when I attempt the littlest things I am in so much pain for days. I did a quick grocery shop yesterday and have been bed bound since this morning because of intense pelvic pressure and back pain. I cant even roll over in bed without crying. I feel useless and exhausted.

I have BH every night for hours I cant sleep. I maybe got 2 full hours last night...

My csection is scheduled for Feb 1st (ill be 38wk6d at that point) and i REALLY want her to cook that long... But I dont know how much longer I can be in this much pain for. Its the weekend so I can relax while hubbys home but tomorrow he goes back to work, how do I take care of my daughter AND myself.

Its causing so much anxiety for me, especially with the upcoming events I have. This week I have court (custody battle and BS with my first daughters father, thats a whole other story of ridiculousness) i have my best friends event next weekend that i volunteer at (sitting 90% of the time thank god) and then still 4 weeks til baby comes...

I want her out NOW but she is still way too small (23rd percentile) and I just feel so overwhelmed.... :/