Me and my husband having a disagreement on raising our kid to respect our elders

I'm pregnant and I never thought this would be an issue but we are in a debate on how to raise our kids. I grew up in a home where you respect your elders. My husband did too but it traumatized him. He says respect is earned and you don't get respect just because you didn't die yet. I understand his trauma because the whole respect your elders thing was used against him as a child for some adults in his life to manipulate him to do sexual things. So that phrase triggers him now and he doesn't believe in it at all. But I know my family and most adults are normal and not disgusting. I still think it's important to raise your children to respect your elders but my husband says no. Our kids will respect who respects them. I said I mean if someone is down right horrible to us we will just remove our kids from the situation. But he is very against respect your elders. I've never been through any type of childhood trauma and I'm genuinely trying to understand his POV. How common is it really for people to abuse that? Maybe there's a compromise we can come up with. I just don't think this is as common as he thinks it is for him to completely not want our kids to know to respect elders.