Is this normal?

Question

I’m 21 and I’m terrified of sex. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we still haven’t done it. I feel bad, we both want it but the times we have tried it just doesn’t work. It’s extremely tight and I can’t seem to relax because I’m so scared of pain down there. Im also scared of it bleeding like crazy. I’m still a virgin. I have bad health anxiety so I also worry that somehow I will get an infection down there. I know it sounds silly but it bothers me so much…I cry about it all the time because he’s so patient and understanding and I feel like I’m broken.

Answer

It could be something like vaginismus which is “the body's automatic reaction to the fear of some or all types of vaginal penetration”. I think it would be worth looking into therapy

Answer

I second therapy. And have you ever tried insertion with fingers or toys on the smaller side? I tried both out first before losing my virginity to try and sort of test the waters

Answer

Therapy could be an option to help with your anxiety. My husband and I waited 4 years to be intimate, but during that time we did other things. Fingering helped a lot as I got used to the feeling of having something in me without pain. I learned to relax, enjoy myself, and that something being inside me wasn't anything to be scared of. On the day we were finally intimate my husband and I weren't planning to have sex. I actually had to go out of my way to explain that I was ready and had to give my husband the space to decide if he was ready. We were just enjoying each other. I had already had an orgasm so I was pleanty lubricated and there was literally zero pain or bleeding. I highly suggest learning to trust your partner, maybe exploring your body to learn what does and doesn't feel good, and also your partner and you exploring each other. It could go a long way for the two of you to know how to please one another.

Answer

I’d start with some therapy. And speak with a doctor if you think it’s a physical issue. 
Being scared and tense will completely stop your muscles from relaxing enough for penetration.

Is this normal?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products