Any Law Enforcement wives out there?

Question

I’m so lonely. I’m a SAHM. My husband works 12 hr swing shifts. He’s gone by 1pm and is usually home around 3am unless he gets stuck on a call which is often. So I don’t see him for like 4 days straight except the couple hours we sleep side by side until I get up and take our son to school and start my day. My parents moved across the country a couple months ago. My mom and I were/are so close but a phone call a day isn’t the same. My dad was a cop and just retired, so I grew up in this life. I’ve been conditioned for this. Yet here I am feeling completely defeated trying not to cry in front of my 7 and 3 year old. We were apart of a church, a couple members of the congregation were anti-cops and we started feeling uncomfortable so we ended up leaving. Haven’t gone back to church since. We’re in California. My husband is patrol, he’s been a cop for over 5 years. Prior military. We’ve been married for 9 years. Anyone out there have advice?

Answer

I’m not a law enforcement wife but I sure appreciate you and your husband’s sacrifices!

Answer

Hi there, my husband is a sherriff deputy. And he works anywhere from 40-60 hours a week. It’s tough and his schedule is always changing. I don’t really have any advice but just a nod that I’m in your boat too. It’s so hard but I have such pride in what he does. Seeing him out in the community and the people who have such respect for him.. it makes me glow. It’s a career that causes great sacrifice. It isn’t for the weak that’s for sure. I guess the only thing I can say is making sure you are taking care of yourself because law enforcement needs a strong home base. I wish you the best 💙

Answer

My husband is law enforcement as well, but a different branch. His shift is 12 hours 4 days a week, but due to extream under staffing he works 14 hours most days and 17 hours at least once a week. He's also on call his 4 days off due to under staffing. During Covid he had to work 16-20 hour shifts 6 days in a row on call his 3 days off. We had 2 under 2 during Covid. Now we have a 3 year old, a 2 year old, and a baby on the way. Zero support system. It's HARD. Luckily my husband doesn't have swing shifts, he just never knows when he's getting off of work. We get to see each other for a few hours a day and the kids see him 1-2 hours most days he works. The best I can tell you is to pray and find another church. Our community if VERY supportive of all branches of law enforcement and military. As are the churches. Going every Sunday and Wednesday helps to give me a break and give me strength to support my husband in what he does every day. I barely sleep, but I make it work. We're both greatly looking forward to him being home for 12 weeks when the baby is born. I also suggest trying to find a mom group to do play dates with. Even check the local library to see if there are reading times for your kids' age groups. I'm very involved in the community because it helps with the loneliness and helps me to feel like I'm supporting my husband by making our town a better place.

Answer

That’s so hard, I can’t imagine! I think you guys should try out another church if you feel called to do so. That church wasn’t right for you guys but maybe the next one will be and you’ll meet some great people. Have you talked to your mom about how you’re feeling too - maybe she can relate and comfort you too 🤍

Any Law Enforcement wives out there?

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