Do you feel an instant connection on the first date?

Question

I've been trying dating apps but I don't feel the connection talking to people without meeting them face to face and I also don't comfortable meeting face to face without getting to know them at least a bit.

The only guy I went on a date with I didn't feel the connection and it felt forced like it was an interview.

Do you usually immediately feel the connection on a first date with a guy you just met?

(I mean not every date will workout but do you think you should wait for a second date to see if there's a connection?)

Answer

I think it’s different. When you know somebody in real life, they were friends with you first before you got together, you got to know them, you spend time with them, you joke around with them, versus meeting someone from scratch, not knowing them at all. I mean, if you see somebody the reason you swiped left or right, was because of some sort of physical attraction, he’s cute, he’s ugly, left or right, correct. so there is some definite attraction for you to select them. Once you select them, you read their profile and see if you like the information that they post so you’re learning about their personality, and once you make a connection and actually have a conversation with them, text messaging or whatever the chat applet that the program has, and get to know that person but the only way you’re gonna know is by asking questions, so I understand why you can say it felt like an interview. I just started dating someone myself, but it was somebody I already knew, and the first date that we had, I am not the type to make the first move. We went and had dinner, we took a drive somewhere and buy a lake the instant I parked the car and turned off the car and put on some soft music I kid you not millisecond that I did that the seatbelt from him came off and he came over to kiss me. I felt comfortable with him because I already knew him. But had it been a total stranger, that never would’ve happened I never would’ve gone anywhere by myself with him, I never would’ve gone to my house with him, it would’ve been a public place and that would’ve been it there never would’ve been a one on one time For that opportunity to happen because I didn’t know him and I wouldn’t feel comfortable going somewhere, secluded without any witnesses, you know what I mean because you don’t know people in God forbid they don’t have good intentions, and you know it’s a set up for murder. Of course, you’re thinking the worst case scenario. Once you get to know, somebody better, and you feel more comfortable, you start to let down that guard of getting to know somebody and being vulnerable and talking about personal things. Since I already knew the guy and felt comfortable with him, and we talked all week prior to the first date, I felt more comfortable with him. The last time that I dated somebody that I didn’t know at all, it took me a good, four months for me to actually be convinced to date me. I knew him just passing, and he reminded me of my father, and I think that was the draw to him, he had similar features to my dad. talk about Daddy Issues. And I told him day one, I don’t do hook ups, I don’t do friends with benefits, I’m a relationship person and if you’re not down with that, then I don’t waste my time. He said OK we’re in a relationship right now. I’m not the average dating site person, I call the shots versus a lot of the times men call the shots, they dictate the relationship if it’s a friends with benefits or something, casual, etc. I think it takes time to build a connection, to feel more comfortable, to learn each other’s sense of humor, because a lot of times, not everyone has the same sense of humor, and things can be misunderstood as being funny, or sarcastic, taken the wrong way. When you find things in common, when you’re there for each other in different situations and are helpful, you see that person in a different light as a hero, you’re stuck on the side of the road, and he comes to help you out, and you learn to respect that person, and admire that person and look at them in a different light than you did before. I don’t think it’s day one connection, I think it takes time to develop that from a total stranger. I think it’s something when you can explain something to someone without making them feel stupid that’s a big thing for me. I have somebody I dated who was a lawyer and that is one gift that he truly has his ability to explain something to a client without making them feel stupid and making them truly understand what he’s talking about by using relatable stories. And I think a man looks at you in a different light the more you are helpful to him as well. When you are able to do the things that he’s not able to do. A language barrier, something that you’re really good at that he may not know how to do something he can learn from you. Maybe you’re a good cook, maybe you’re good writer, and he hates to write so you write out his mom’s Mother’s Day card or birthday cards, something that’s helpful to him or something he hates to do on his own, he sees that as thank God this person is here and does this for me. I truly wish you luck with dating, I hope things get better, obviously people do have bad days, may not make the best first impression, people can be nervous, mental health, and anxiety also goes into play, and remember that you don’t owe anyone anything, you’re not obligated to stay you’re not obligated to go on another date, if you don’t feel comfortable with that person, then, by all means, say, I’m sorry this isn’t working out. I wish you the best of luck

Answer

I've definitely felt an instant connection before . I haven't gone on dates in awhile but I can feel it even when I message someone. Where I want to meet them immediately. Where as others I don't want or feel that.

Answer

My SO and I met on a dating site. I don’t recall there being an “instant connection” but there had to have been some kind of connection for us to hang out nearly every single day, despite being half hour away from each other at the time. He went into kiss me later on into the date and I turned away, rejecting him even tho he did end up getting one at the end of the night. We just celebrated 4 years. Instant connections don’t necessarily mean anything anyway. I remember a guy in particular the connection was unprecedented but it seemed he was only interested in playing games.

Do you feel an instant connection on the first date?

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