Help (15F)

I feel almost hopeless, I am 15 and a sophomore in high school. And I have never had a crush or feelings for anyone. I mean I’ve had boyfriends but they’ve always wanted one thing and that was to have sex and when I said no (because I feel like I didn’t trust them with not telling anyone) they cheated. I know im young but I really just want someone to love and it hurts looking around at all of my friends who are in love and my best friend of 11 years who gets boyfriends every week. I never cry, I get very angry, im always in a bla mood. And I feel like this is all because of the verbal abuse I got from my dad, it’s almost like my body is making sure I don’t get hurt again but it’s bothering me.