Edit… i didnt search or look how to ….

I feel like a married a teen boy. My husband is 42 yrs old. I was away for work out of town with our 1 yr old. I came back home the day before thanksgiving at 5pm. We then went grocery shopping that evening. I woke up at 6am and started cooking until 3pm. We had a beautiful thanksgiving with our friends. I woke up the next morning super early because i have more work to do on the computer. I worked from 4am to 7am. Kids wake up and i tend to them while my husband still sleeps. By the time he wakes up, i go to say good morning because i noticed he was kind of quiet, i open our bedroom door and he is in there ironing with his back towards me, he doesnt turn around to say Hi. So i just stood there because now im wondering if i did something wrong. I stood there for few seconds waiting for him to turn around. He turns around and looks at me, he looks so angry. I then said, are you okay? He grabs the door and slams it so hard, with all his strength right in my face and im holding our one yr old. I stand there so confused, and i ask him “what is wrong with you? You are gonna do this right after thanksgiving?” So he doesnt say anything, he stays in the room for the rest of the day. He doesnt help with our kids. Next day was yesterday, same thing, he doesnt say anything. Finally around the afternoon he says he needs to talk to me, he says he noticed on my search engine on my phone it said “how to find a high value man” thats why he is upset. At this point in our marriage, im over it!!! His anger scares our daughter and myself. I feel so scared when he gets upset, i slept in our kids bedroom on the floor. I get a stomach upset when he is angry. He is always getting upset about some dumb shyt. I didnt even search that corny shyt. We have both watched high value men and women on youtube, so if its recommended doesnt mean i looked it up and even if i did, its on my phone that i pay for. Im so tired of living on egg shells. I told him im filling for divorce. He says im going to ruin our girls lives because of that but he is the one constantly making me go there. He said slamming the doors or yelling and cursing doesn’t do damage but me leaving him will ruin them. He has promised therapy so many times but never once does he go. There was one time where he grabbed me off the bed around 3 or 4am and banged my head against the wall accusing me of cheating. He then kicked me out along with our other one yr old at that time. My mom lived next door so i went there and spent a week. He then grabbed all my belongings and put them outside her door and knocked our door and told me to come get them before people help themselves to my stuff. He had no evidence of me cheating, he just saw me smiling at the phone and assumed i was talking to someone. Two months passed that yr and he bagged me to come home and said he will do anger management but he never did. So im finally done!!

Guys i didnt make the search! Its a huge problem to me because if he asked instead of staying in bed all day and slamming the door in my face, i would tell him its maybe a recommendation based on things we have both watched before. Even when we have talked about high value its always talking bad about women who want that while they dont have their own things together. I pay my half of the bills and never complain once. I never made that stupid search. My husband always reacts so aggressive just to find out i never did anything to began with. One minute he says he saw it on the search engine even thou my phone doesnt save my searches, then he says he saw me watch a video while laying next to him .. he is all over the place. I actually went through my youtube watch history and its a bunch of baby cartoons that we tether to the TV and some random videos ive been watching. No high value man. Also my husband is more fascinated in this high value stuff than i could care for. He watches many videos on how to be one, how to dress like one. Im a normal girl with a good paying job and i live my life basic.