After being in a AB relationship

I was in a AB relationship for 4 years, he was cheating on me with a girl from work not only that they was engaged also . The day i finally saw the person that he really was is when i saw her pregnant at the store she was entering her third trimester actually twins . But yeah i finally broke things off with him and moved out left his things outside and i moved 4 hrs out . I found a job made amazing friends till this day they been amazing i became a God - mother to a little boy lol . And i fell madly in love with one of my friends brother in law lol we have been dating for 2 years now and we never went all day only kissing and me giving pleasure . My ex use to make me so uncomfortable with myself that i didn't feel comfortable being intimate with my now bf he understood and we would go has far as i could . And well RECENTLY !!!! This Thanksgiving weekend we went to Florida to his parents and well . I found him in the shower late at night pleasuring himself after we came back from dinner . It doesn't bother me he has needs i totally understand that . He noticed me and was like babe am sorry , i obviously told him its ok babe no need to apologize " i actually found it very sexy baby seeing you " he blushes lol we get in bed he started going down on me . He apologized that he wasn't getting hard so fast i told him its ok ill handle it . I get on top he immediately got shy " babe are you sure your ready like ARE YOU REALLY SURE ?? i said yes just lay back and i road him like there was no tomorrow . Good thing his parents weren't home yet lol . I cant believe i let what my ex did to me have such a hold on me .