My MIL is stressing me out trying to take my kids places without me even there I am irritated.

I don’t need any rude comments please. It may seem like I’m overreacting and being overly paranoid but I’m just doing my job as a mom. My son is 3 years old who’s severely autistic and I have a 4 year old also. This girl that I do not know is best friends with my husband’s sister. I have met her only one time at a family gathering I was already having bad vibes with her and my husband and her do not get along at all. It’s been like that since he was in high school. She is throwing a birthday party for her 2 year old. None of us including my kids we’re not invited. My mil has known her for quite some time and she wanted to take my kids there her self without me and my husband there. My husband asked are you just taking the kids or can we go also. She said no just the kids. My husband said no you’re not taking them and she laughed it off like it was not a big deal and that nothing will happen. I do not know anything about this person I have never met her kid and I don’t know any of her family or people that are going to be at that birthday party. It’s not like I’m close friends with her.

Also I do not want my kids in her car without me there because she never renewed her license. A long time ago she said that she told her doctor that she felt like she was supposably blind in her left eye so the doctor contacted the DMV and they suspended her license. Basically she’s driving without a license.It has been like that for years. I am in California. I’m not saying something is going to happen with my kids but I don’t know how she will watch my kids because nobody can watch my kids like how me and their dad do especially with a autistic child my son tends to wonder off sometimes so I have to watch him like a damn hawk. 9 times out of 10 probably nothing will happen but there are some kids that have been trafficked kidnapped touched and I am not being paranoid or over reacting those are my kids and people are fucking stupid these days and it’s my job to protect them as their parent. She also wonders why I still have my kids rear facing I told her it’s because both of them are still tiny and I feel like it’s more safer. She feels like I can transition them to forward facing now because my daughter is already 4 years old and since my son is 3 she feels like they’re old enough.

There are also some different situations that I have dealt with her. We got invited to a family wedding one time but no kids were allowed which was fine because I don’t care what people want to do with their weddings. My husband didn’t want to go because we take our kids with us everywhere we go which we don’t mind. She wanted us to leave our kids with a baby sitter who I do not know or never met. That babysitter watched her other grandkids for a while so she feels like the kids will be fine with that babysitter because she said I’ve known her for years she’s a good friend of mine she’s great with kids and I feel like she’s trustworthy but I don’t know that? I never met her and I know nothing. She wanted me and my husband to go so bad to the wedding but she wanted to leave my kids with someone else so they can watch them but we didn’t want to go to the wedding in the first place.

I know this part has nothing to do with the topic but there’s other shit that also pissed me off before on what she has done. When I gave birth to my daughter back in 2019 she invited random people that I do not know to the hospital. I guess it was her sister but I didn’t know she was there because I took a nap and when I woke up in my mind I’m like who the fuck is this? I never met her sister at all she didn’t even have the audacity to ask me about guests. Her husband also dropped off a card I didn’t know he was coming either he didn’t get near my daughter but he said he was a little sick. I don’t care if you’re not near they never heard that germs can spread through the air? 🤦🏻‍♀️