I’ve made it past my first ob appointment and to 8 weeks. I’m doing great . Sometimes I’m so nervous when light cramps ( more light stretching occur but they said that’s normal . No bleeding .

I am beyond blessed and feel so lucky and scared at the same time. But I pray so much and I speak positivity into my pregnancy . I stopped freaking out and I’ve done my best not to stress.

5 years almost 6 since I was pregnant and my son was born. I wasn’t ready to be a mom then and definitely didn’t wanna have a kid with my ex husband. But I did and did my best to make it work for my son. After my divorce I fell down a dark hole of depression and suicidal thoughts and drinking . So I gave my son up to give him a better life and also cause I didn’t know if I wasn’t gonna be here the next day and didn’t want him to walk in and find me dead . I could never forgive myself if something happened and he was in the middle of it.

I am rebuilding my relationship with him. And I am hopeful for the future with him.

But now I’m pregnant with baby number two. And I’ve made it further along than the other pregnancies. This is my 5th pregnancy . I’ve had 3 miscarriages. I’m getting more relaxed .

My dr said once you get to the second trimester your chances of miscarriage go down significantly to almost 0.

I think a medical website said once you hit 9 weeks your chances of miscarriages go down to 10 percent and around 12 it’s 4 percent then zero.

So for this little spew but I needed to vent . I’m trying not to prematurely announce it on Facebook.