Just need to vent

I'm 31 with 2 kids I do deal with depression n these last couple of years has been a roller coaster ride I have I have not had anytime for myself | been dealing with a horrible situationship with a guy l been dealing with my two kids this new job my depression sometimes I don't know I'm l coming our going I want to reach out for help but the last time I did I was put into psych ward I was never suicidal I thought i was going in just to talk to someone but some one close to got me placed there for a few days so I don't trust anyone no more so l hold so much in n I just want to let it out I was and still is mental and physical drain I don't know what to do I'm so stressed I just want real genuine love around me i want some time for me n I'm not being selfish because I understand these is what comes with being a mother n the head of the house hold but how can help ppl around me if I can't even help my self