Not really looking for advice, but i only have one friend to rant to and i need to give her a break. I just need to air it out. I am a ftm and just had my baby two weeks ago. My husband is home with me full time at the moment. He takes night shift and i take day shift with the baby. Well for some reason when it’s his turn with the baby he gets mean, cold, and distant and I feel like it’s getting worse. Tonight i nursed her and laid her in her crib in our bedroom and went to pump (we do only bottles at night so i pump after feeds and throughout the day/night to prepare them). Well she started crying and he insisted that i stop nursing her before bed and we do a large bottle instead, which is not actually what pissed me off, but he told me she HAD to be hungry when she was just having tummy discomfort and wanted to be held. I know she wasn’t that hungry because 1. It had been less than 10 min since she unlatched. 2. She was calm as soon as he picked her up and walked over to me. He heated up a big bottle for me to give her, she ate about an oz and now we have 2 oz of wasted breastmilk. He also was slamming the door to the nursery as he was coming in and out to grab the heater. During the day he is his normal self, kind caring thoughtful, but when the sun goes down he transforms into someone else. I told him about this and how i feel a few days ago and even gave him examples, the last big issue was him laughing while telling me “all you do is complain complain complain you never have anything good to say about anything” while laughing. Which hurt my feelings because i was telling him he shouldn’t be blasting his music with all the lights on while he’s watching her in the nursery at NIGHT and how that’s the reason her days and nights are switched. It makes me want to just take care of her 100% of the time. He doesn’t neglect her, he knows when she needs a diaper change and when she’s hungry but other than that he really doesn’t understand that she needs to be held and loved on sometimes too. It’s just so frustrating because when i tell him it goes in one ear and out the next. And then when he’s watching the baby, and he’s got his alter ego, he gets mad when i tell him.

Edit: just now as i posted this he came to grab her from me (i had been sitting in the nursery with her for half an hour bc i didn’t want to talk to him) and he just ignored me as i told him how much she ate.