Husband says im not feminine

Husband has been joking that I’m very mainly, and that he is attracted to soft feminine. Even in arguments he says he feels like he is married to another male. My husband and i go 50/50, honestly i pay more for things, Im still feminine, but i cant be 100% traditional while contributing 50% or more. I feel like he doesn’t want me to have a voice, he wants me to say Yes to everything he says and not question him. In arguments he gets so loud but expects me to be quiet, when i try to defend myself he says Im not lady like. I don’t know what to do anymore. Many times in arguments he tells me to shut up and do what he says and we wont have issues.