Should I Apply for Divorce ???

So long story , But really need a second opinion. I know a lot are going against me but hear me out..

We were engaged for 4 years and then married for 8 years , But our actual relationship started after marriage. During engagement which was long distance ( 2 different countries) ,i was having alot problems with him as he sometimes for weeks won’t respond to my messages or ghost me out. His parents would keep contact with my parents and visit us from other country for couple weeks. All relationships were okay as long I compromised with him like put up with his silent treatment. If I’m mad or angry at him instead of asking me he’ll just go quiet and won’t talk for weeks. He promise he’s changed after marriage and he did . We have two beautiful kids at age 3-5. They’re very happy and as a family we are perfect. However, it’s the kids the reason why i’ve been putting up with him but now i’m Done. I don’t demand him for expensive clothes/shoes/ food or anything luxurious even the Holidays, which we barely had once in 1st year anniversary and nothing after that. Never complain as i’ve been working and he lost his job for year and went in debt which i paid back to cover his broken credit and provided for family. Although he’s grateful for that but whenever i get angry that he won’t go to a barber for a decent haircut he’d say he can do at home, to save few quids? I mean he’s not that kind of poor, we are quite stable to provide and spend on ourselves.

2: Which i hate most that I had to ask him dress up every day even he’s working from home like he’s dad is retired but he’s always ready to go at anytime. His clothes are washed, iron & hung by me all he had to do to change . He’s lazy i had 1000 time argument with him.He always look like a caveman while i’m dressed up every and making sure kids too, keeping house tidy as well providing too.

3: Whenever i goofed around like play or just do something silly he’ll all go clamp up and just won’t talk to me. ( I miss my youth i’m only 30 i had a fun time life with my friends but i can’t be one around him or his family). I had to pretend a responsible person and have been day 1 married to him.

4: When i argue or get mad at him he’ll just go silent and won’t talk to me even i apologise and it happened alot, We had a long long non-talking period last year, (4-5 months) where i ended up having depression.

5: No valentines date, anniversary, new year , Birthday, or anything or any menial gift at all Nada. I don’t expect much but atleast a card or flowers would do(last gift received in 2018) . He knows any flowers gives me joy i have bought some randomly at home whenever i shop. I gave him gifts yes, cards yes, Father’s day, new years all those yes.

6: When I Passed my driving test in my first try after learning for good few months ( due to depression & anxiety) , he promised me he’ll buy me that card (that we saw in shop as a joke) if i passed my test and give me some gold bracelet or chain whatever i like. Nope nothing been months reminded him every time he’s just ignored.

7 : No sexual life. Alter both young, i’m not that unattractive or fat that he won’t go but himself never go for anyone else either. And yes i spoke to him about that alot even sent him to doctors office but he didn’t attend appointments saying he’s just busy at work and it gets him tiered.

8: He works from home. All his other job as well. But everyone else stop working after 5or 5:30. He Finished by midnight and yes we had alot argument about this that he needs to balance, the company isn’t hanging on his shoulders only and that i also do let him work extra but no

we don’t get extra money for that.

9: I was asked to leave my job as he was earning enough to provide for us and our older son needed help for his LSD & Social Anxiety. I had to give up on my job almost a year ago and it actually helped alot to turn my kids around. I still have issues with second child, hes also going with some delay but I’m looking for a new job to continue with my career.

10: K had talk to him seriously about our relationship and how we both need to be present with our kids as a family but to think about ourselves as well what are we to each other? where i stand in his life.

I spoke to my friends & sisters to advise me on how I can turn things around, he changes temporarily and then go back to same road. What chances i’ve been giving to him and Honestly All I think he’s just too good & Calm and avoiding any argument is his priority but he never try to resolve it, Just deflects it or agreed to do.

I don’t want divorce or separation it damages my brain and my children mentality. All i want to be happy and feel alive again but i’m only staying for my kids. To be honest, I feel nothing with him anymore. Not happy or sad it’s just Vanilla with sweetness. There’s nothing between us as a husband wife.