So for background, I have been in 4 relationships. I had my middle school “long term” boyfriend until 9th grade. Then from 9th-12th my highschool sweethearts, then a quick year relationship, 19-21 a boyfriend and back to my highschool sweetheart again from 21-25 years old. All of my relationships were filled with horrible toxic arguments until my most recent. I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for 2 years (26-28) and it’s been soooo difficult to have trust that he doesn’t secretly hate me lol. We’ve have zero, 0 ZERO arguments and for so long I was worried and paranoid that he was going to chop me up and keep me in a freezer but so much time had gone by and I just realized that this is what a healthy relationship is like. I’ve carried so much weird guilt that I’m not deserving of his patience and empathy and selflessness. I’m SO happy and feel so grateful that I’m in this place and have maybe found my person but at the same time I have this feeling. I wonder if other woman have experienced anything similar?