How to deal with boundaries for birth?

Question

Pregnant with my first baby❤️ I had no idea how entitled both grandma parents would feel to go to the hospital. Neither of us are close with are parents… and they both want to hold the baby as soon as they pop out -_-
I told them maybe day 2 or 3 at the hospital depending on my labor. They both are calling me selfish.

Answer

Not selfish at all, its your baby and you decide when you are ready for visitors. I’m really close with our families but we didnt want anyone at the hospital when we had our daughter, they all came to visit us when we were back home with the baby and had got ourselves sorted and settled. I couldnt think of anything worse than people being around me (other than my partner) whilst giving birth or straight after. Thats your time to recover and bond with your new born. 
You make it clear you will tell them when you are ready for visitors. And if they cant accept that, just dont even tell them when you go into labour 🤷🏻‍♀️ have the baby, get home and settled and then let them know “by the way babys born, we are back home and you can come visit now”. Doesnt matter if they dont like it, its your baby.

Answer

I had my first in 2021 so covid rules still applied and no one was allowed at the hospital. I thought I’d want visitors at the hospital because everyone else in my family had visitors after giving birth so I was a little bummed. But after living it - nooooo way! I actually feel terrible that I ever went and visited people in the hospital myself! Your body goes through so much during childbirth. You’re exhausted physically and emotionally. You probably haven’t showered in awhile. You’re learning breastfeeding. And medically, YOU are the person baby needs to bond with - to feel comfort and to eat. It’s a really important time to just shut the world out and focus on your recovery and bonding with baby. We had visitors - in shifts - the day after we came back from the hospital and we’ll probably do that again with my second. Give yourself some time to get home, get showered, get into your comfy clothes, and get situated with baby🤍

Answer

Ignore them. You told them your request that’s it.

Answer

Man I feel this to my core ! 33 weeks pregnant and I’m already making the same choice as you . My fiancé is so mad at me and thinks I’m weird for not wanting anyone at the hospital or even holding our baby for when we get home . As a parent you call the shots with your baby and it doesn’t matter how anyone feels about . Do what you’d like to do for YOU! Recovery is bad enough and transitioning into motherhood without everyone coming in and out of your room passing your baby around . Seems like no one really puts mom first when babies are born and it’s sad , so put yourself first

Answer

Not selfish at all. We don't allow anyone and also let all nurses know that any and all visitors are to be refused. No one meets baby until the day after we come home. We've done that with all of our children.

Answer

Just ignore them! Honestly you are allowed to be selfish in this!! Do not let others coerce you into something you dont want, this is an incredibly intimate moment in your life for both you and your partner. We didnt have any visitors until 14 days after birth and yes some people werent best pleased but they got over it.

Answer

How are u selfish.. i'm so close to my mum but i didn't want her to see me like that and modesty is out of the window.. i only wanted my husband and health team.. nothing wrong with that.

Answer

Ignore, and tell the nurses the situation and you don’t want visitors. They will keep them out.

How to deal with boundaries for birth?

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