So hard, confusing, upsetting with PCOS

I am just a female who was diagnosed with PCOS at age 24… have had the irregular periods for years… also been TTC for years with my partner of 12 years… so I know recently I had ultrasound which the dr did say I have a 2cm cyst on the ovarie… what is so confusing is when I do have a natural period out of no where all on its own normal 7 days.. actively intimate. Than don’t have cycle on time but don’t think anything of it but was day 42 after period… than get period full blood stabbing (not cramps) ( don’t usually have cramps with cycle anyways) in uterus area feels like everything going to drop out with the pain… 3 day heavy blood… than medium 4th 1 day ( no pain or stabbing) than 5th day heavy implantation bleeding with a lot of bloating feeling … so I feel like an idiot at which some people may think I am but I don’t understand any of this I have never had the pain that bad at which was so awful don’t wosh on anyone as well as I am confused… n have had MC before one at which I think is what has happen but I don’t know some one please help me to understand?? I have been to dr but no one answers u or they just say more test I have done the clomid done the birth control I am on letrozole to help they say but I am so lost n no one to talk to or help understand what could be going on I know everyone is not dr here but seems that many people seem to help each other out … thanks for your time reading this I know it is long but maybe someone would be nice to help me out