Was this abuse? Manipulation? Gaslighting?

Instead of apologizing, my now ex bf would twist things and say “oh are we sensitive today?” Or “not funny?” After he would call me names in a sarcastic manner such as trash, bitch, or tell me how gross a meal was that I cooked for him, and how he’s cooking it the right way because it has to be homemade. Keep in mind I can handle sarcasm, but when it got to a point when I was just wanting to talk to my then bf and hear about his day, and then he’d basically kill the vibe by throwing in an insult of what he thought was “harmless joke” and then me being confused and not knowing what to say afterwards, would that be considered gaslighting on his end if he couldn’t even apologize in the moment and say what he said above? Or is that emotional abuse?? Dude was 30 years old. Looking back now, I feel he would belittle me by doubting certain abilities of mine, call me names, almost seem to threaten me once by saying “you do that one more time, you’re gonna piss me off!” All because I one time jokingly threw a pillow at him and I remember feeling so small and like I got scolded to where that lump in your throat develops or eyes feel like they shrunk and I just shut down and didn’t say anything because I was afraid one small move or anything else I’d say the rest of the night would make him mad, and I started to feel that way a lot with him because his demeanor/ mood was unpredictable at times.