My husband and sister had an emotional affair… I guess neither “realized” it as it was starting…. But developed an emotional relationship… 4 days after my first son was born. This was March of 2022. I found out about 2 months later when my sister was acting weird about my husband… like she liked him…. And to give background into this she was extremely jealous of my life and that I had a man like him . She was engaged before me and broke off her engagement and relationship of 5 yrs… even when she was engaged she would always act jealous and put down how mushy and loving my then bf and I were. She broke her engagement a few months before I was engaged. She continued to be not nice I gave her grace during my dress shopping she was arms folded mad attitude galore. My year and a half after that of being engaged and planning she was maid of honor she didn’t help me plan at all she would get mad if I asked her a question regarding help with makeup ideas etc. so I didn’t ask her all but maybe two . She got back with her ex fiancé a year after breaking up. Nobody liked her ex even when they were together and everyone loved my fiancé. She got back with him about 6 months until my wedding… she cried hysterically the night before my wedding for three hours on phone with her on again bf I stayed at my parents house as to not be with my husband the night before. I always thought it would be this fun slumber party type of thing … bonding with my sister who was supposed to be my bff and was my maid of honor. My mom helped with all planning and is truly my bff and should have been my matron of honor. Anyways also should note we are 14 months apart . Grew up bff. She is older. The jealousy began and got worse and worse moment my now husband came into my life 2017. Just got worse and worse. Engaged summer 2018 and Married beginning of 2020. Our relationship was not how used to be obviously at this point . Couldn’t talk about my happiness with her etc. I told her how I was sad about how she was with me all through my planning and night before my wedding and wedding. Even engagement and I did tell her I was sad about my wedding shopping and her being how she was but I understood it was fresh for her but to be that way the year and a half after that so much so even bringing up my wedding she was nasty to me. She would cry and gaslight and get defensive as I would bring up how I was hurt. Then say sorry I’m always the b word. Turn it into her being victim. She would say things like I wish my bf was more like your husband but then say things like eww you guys are too lovey I’m so glad my bf and i joke all the time and roast each other I could never be with your husband. Like ummm ok.

Well spring 2021 I would say I have to tell you something and it would be something so silly like about a show etc and she said “what are you pregnant?!” In an angry way. I was like no…… she did this I counted 5 times in two weeks. Three times like this and twice just inquiring if I had gotten my period. And if I felt cramps to make sure it was coming. I confronted her and asked why she was doing this. She denied that she did this and said if she did sorry.

I didn’t know this but during this time she put a selfie of herself in my husband phone on Easter because he asked her to take a pic of him and I . It wasn’t a silly face pic it was a look at me I’m pretty pic. That day she put down my old dress I’ve had since high school and was talking about how pretty she felt in her new dress and how good her hair looked. Then month later her 30th bday my parents and her and her bf and my husband and I went to dinner and my mother took a picture of my husband and I and her and her bf together and instead of leaning on her bf she was pressed up against my husband…

Mind you through my relationship with my husband he knew how she was with me and couldn’t stand it. Also even being this way with me she would call and text constantly even at work and at home eating dinner and I would say why don’t you go eat dinner with your bf (she lives at his townhome) and she would call cause he always was outside for a few hours smoking playing phone games.

Then I got pregnant a month later time my family at dinner and she cried but I know her it was for a I’m sad fir me reason. She would call me every day on her break with attitude and say how are you feeling good that’s good or not good feel better. And had no clue when I was due etc but when my cousin and friends were pregnant she was so excited etc.

Well I spoke to her about this too and she just never changed. jump to after facing my son. My husband has childhood issues … mom favored his twin brother mean to my husband and was not nice about the names we chose and the day we had my son she made a rude reaction to our son’s name because it’s Italian.

She also got her other son children their cribs and told my parents not to get it because she said she buys all her grandchildren cribs and she did not get us a crib. His dad wasn’t around and had no father figure growing up. No love. I gave him love he was missing so I guess having our son triggered childhood trauma in him and he felt I wouldn’t have time for him so he and my sister started to text secretly. And it became inappropriate. Lots of him complimenting her and hearts exchanged etc. I found out because my sister two months into them texting acted weird like she liked him. I was at my parents house and she was too and my husband was on a business trip and I had taken a nap as my mom said to y she would watch baby. She was boasting that my husband was texting her at the airport while I napped and I said ummm why?! And she was like oh stop who cares that he was texting me he was bored. My dad said stop to me because it is nice they are close…. Then she said something in front of my mom and I got mad once again sounding like she liked him so much so my mom said do you like him or something?! Stop it! And she cried . Then she was boasting and saying what he was talking about and i said oh can I read the text and she was hesitant and then said ok just scroll this way. I quickly scrolled the other way and saw so much inappropriate talk.

To sum it up I my mom found out she knew my sister jealousy and said not to confront her because my Italian father could not handle if something happened between his daughters and we weren’t bff anymore meanwhile he knew how she was to me and was in denial. So she said just confront your husband I’m sure he was just being too nice and innocent on his end. Well I did just that and had him swear he would stop talking to her and how devastated I was. And betrayed. Well I continued to have triggers for almost a year got pregnant again but believed he would stop it. Well he didn’t stop he told her I found out they were texting and she said Omg I knew she would I was wondering why I hadn’t heard from you. Well it got more inappropriate. I even was made to put her as Godmother for my father …. Well I found out it didn’t end.I was pregnant again and now haven’t spoke to my sister since finding out it continued. My second baby is 8 months old she never met him and it’s been a hard road for my husband and I. He says he never meant it bad just knew she was free to talk felt I was busy and felt they were friends and then just became habit. Not good. We are finally after a year of all of this coming out and not talking now to my sister getting a bit better… we have been talking to a pastor who is a marriage counselor as well. And specializes in betrayals.

My mother says my sister is changing and has turned to Jesus so much and knows she was wrong with how she was with me and misses me and the boys. Never met my second. She says she sees the change. I am not ready I don’t think to talk to her … and knowing that she did this to me and was so mean since the moment my husband came into my life I still made her Maid of honor godmother etc for my dad/family…. Put up being anxious around her for my family. And now it’s like it was all for nothing because now holidays etc we cannot be all together. I am trying to focus on my Marriage and rebuilding it for my babies that’s my first priority. But then I am trying to work up to reconciliation with her . I have forgiven from a far for Jesus because He forgives us all. I just don’t think I will ever feel ok with my husband and her in same room. Eventually I think I will be able to once I know my marriage is solid again 110% but to do that and have them together in same room for my parents… idk if I can and idk if that makes me not a good Christian… I wish things could be different and we could be all Together…

It’s been really hard. I am so blessed with my boys. My mother always brings up how much she has changed and how sad she is and that I’m still bitter and angry at times….

Just need some sisters in Christ. Family drama with my parents and their siblings have drawn the cousins apart and so I feel sad today I have no female family member and obviously no sibling to talk to. Thanks.