Not worthy to have his children

My husband and i were having a deep conversation about our resentments towards each other. We have 2 babies and his reaction to me being pregnant was so bad that i still feel sad about it. The way he reacted was like i was a side piece who go pregnant or a prostitute or just someone who didn’t mean anything to him. He came around and is a good dad but i told him i get sad about that sometimes. The first one, he told me to get an abortion and i refused. He apologized after. Second time he didnt talk to me for 2 weeks and apologized after. He said he wasnt happy thats why he felt so strongly against a baby. I told him why didnt he just leave if the idea of having a baby with me is so horrific to him. He said because he was waiting for me to be a better wife and that him wanting a baby with me has to be earned. He said a woman has to be worthy to get a man to want to make a family. I get it but if im not worthy to have a family why would you even want to lay down with me.