Family member pushing boundaries

I'm looking for some advice. We have a family member that we love. She has no children and is an only sibling. She is clingy. My children adore her. She is a joy to be around most of the time.

Here is my issues. She isn't respectful of my time as a stay at home mom. She is self centered. She's extremely jealous.

I've butted heads with her more then a few times. Such as overstaying at my home. Showing up announced. Her disregarding our rules with our kids. Her opinions about my life.

Recently we've had a discussion about her birthday she doesn't understand why a friend who is a mom wouldn't treat her birthday with the same regard as she would her child's first birthday. I tried explaining that as mom's it's different to celebrate your child's big milestones then it is a friend and she really didn't understand that.

I actually yelled at her this week for showing up so late to my home it was evening and she was almost two hours late and she let my kids and animals out. I'm frustrated because she doesn't respect my boundaries that my children are not allowed to answer the door or be outside without their parents. She didn't understand her coming into my home unannounced and taking my children out to my yard isn't ok.

When we first had children my husband was worried about her and if she'd take our kid. My husband is over that fear now and loves her but doesn't want to be around her as she rubs him wrong. She always has some drama going on. She doesn't understand when we say we are having friends over she will stay. If it's a meal time we better be making enough for her.

Lastly she is a hoarder and has a shopping addiction. It's getting to be a lot as she's always bringing things into my home. I'm tossing things out. Issue is the kids now are asking where things are she has gifted. I don't keep broken or gross stuff and most of the time that is what she gives us. I tell her to save her money or we are not in need but she isn't getting it.

Help me. I don't want to get a burnout from her but she's so self centered and I just don't know what to do anymore.