Husband doesn’t want me

I’ve concluded my husband and I are simply co parents. At this point most everything in our relationship is obligatory. Long story short I think he’s only with me because I met his mother before she passed and I was nice enough. Everything just kind of flowed like that was what we were supposed to do. We’ve had some really good times but now at the end of the day he wants nothing to do with me. We parent together and that’s it. He won’t do anything extra with me unless I ask. I’ve really tried giving him the benefit, he has depression and I can relate struggling to want to even exist but we have two kids together now. We’ve built a whole life with the intention of living it out. I just had a newborn so maybe I’m hormonal but we’ve just been on autopilot this whole time. Together five years, married for three. I’ve seen messages to his friends where he explains in his reason for still going and all but he’s not around to tell me that. I love and care about him I really do but I also know I want someone who wants to spend time with me when we put the kids down. He’s been gaming with his friends, playing chess and magic every night for months and now I need him more than ever. If I ask to spend time together it’s like I’m taking him away from what he actually wants to do and I’m the bad guy. I’ve compromised on what we do too, like I’ll game on my own in his office or we just sit together. I’ve even tried to learn magic even though I struggle w math and dyslexic. I can’t ask to really go anywhere or even watch a movie cuz he’s not into it. I just don’t want to do it anymore. I feel like I’m wasting so much time waiting for him to come around. I know we’re married and I’m supposed to stick it out but is it worth it? He can find someone more compatible if that’s what it is. I enjoy whatever we do even if it’s not particularly my thing. Also I’ve definitely tried communicating this to him and recently just gave up on mentioning it altogether. Every night we put our two year old down, he’ll ask if I need anything, I’ll say no cuz it’s easier than repeating that I just need his company and he’ll ask to go play with friends like I even have the option to turn that down. I really don’t mind that he plays I like to game too and I’m glad he’s got such great friends but are we not in a relationship?? I think I’ve just been so lonely for so long and I’m at the point where I realized I don’t have to be anymore. I need to find better friends to have in my life and lean more on my family if I can’t with my husband. Maybe I’ve become too reliant on him or done something to make him resent me. All I know is communicating hasn’t been easy where it usually is and I should go about it delicately so I don’t mess this up. I just wanted it to work out..

-Wanted to add why I even made this post. I couldn’t shower last night. I managed to get in and get the water going but had to get out after a few min cuz he couldn’t answer his phone while playing to soothe the baby. She cries so hard she’ll spit up, only a week old so I don’t want her crying too long. Also I realized the night I went into labor he was gaming and I had decided to just try and sleep. For that and other reasons I doubted I was actually in labor and waited too long to come down and tell him. We went in too late for an epidural to work (they finally gave it to me three min before I delivered) and I had to birth completely natural. It was not my plan and seriously brutal. I’m still processing. I don’t directly blame him but maybe if he had sat with me that night it would have gone differently.