I think I’m ready to have sex, but I just don’t know. I get so nervous and scared every time a guy makes a move on me (which really means once in 2017 and once in 2021, but still). My brain says I’m ready but the total lack of male interest in me is making it difficult to test out that theory. I guess it doesn’t really matter if I’m ready or not, ‘cause it does take two to tango, and I am severely lacking a partner. But even so.

I want to be with a man, I have for years, I think I’m ready. But I know that if someone approached me tomorrow, I’d freak out and run away. It’s just my instinct. Beyond that, I know no one will, ‘cause nobody is interested in me (no, I do not even get hit on at bars, I’m kind of at a loss).

I really want to kiss a guy, it’s been seven years since I have. Well, six and a half. But I know I’m ready for that.

I just want to grow up. I think I’m ready. But I don’t think anyone else is ready. And it really kind of hurts.