Would you be upset?

Question

So, my husband apparently got into a miscommunication between a coworker. 
He says he left work early because it was the best choice at the moment as the conversation was leading to a very bad situation. 
He left about 3 hours early. He didn’t tell me. 
He even drove by home when I was on lunch and says he just decided to not come inside because he didn’t want me asking questions at the time. He even told me the time I was here so I know for sure he passed by. 
He says he went to the park to cool off and he talked to his mom about it. 
Now he’s telling me this hours later once I got home. He says when he goes to work tmrw they’re having a meeting about what had happened today. 
I’m upset that he didn’t tell me yet he can talk to his mom about it first. 
Do I have a reason to be upset?

Answer

I dont see how making this about you is making it any better.

Answer

He needed to cool down. I have learned when men need their space, just give it to them and don’t take it personally. I mean, If you want, you could just say something like “I’m sorry you had a bad day, I wish you would have called me because I would have liked to help, but I understand you needed some space.” 
This isn’t a big deal. I would just let it go. You don’t want to make him more upset by getting your feelings involved.

Answer

There isn’t a reason to be upset. It’s not about you. Sometimes people just need to talk to their parents and that’s ok. I am glad he has a mom that he can go to and talk with. He might not have been prepared for all of your questions. That might have overwhelmed him.

Answer

I can see why he didn’t come to you.

Answer

I would absolutely not be upset.

Answer

You're allowed to feel how you feel. But so is he. He needed a little time to process what had happened before talking to you about it. Sometimes parents know just what to say to help us process things and we don't want to bring things like this home before we could process because that could possibly cause conflict. Maybe he was a little nervous about how you would react too. I think you should let him off the hook for this. He's already super stressed about what happened at work. He definitely does not need it all piled on right now. ￼

Answer

He can...and should...have more than 1 person. He was aware enough to know he needed to cool down and did what he needed. He talked to the person at the time.he needed to talk to. He isnt hiding it from you and told you but as it is a big deal he needed to do what he needed before a meeting and could be worried about his job in general. But he may have just needed a specific type of conversation or his mom may have had insight or similar experience or a way of talking he needed that you may not have had. My husband is and always has been my #1 person and support. But if I am actually mad...which rarely rarely ever happens...I talk to my sister because she knows exactly when to add a snarky comment or dark joke to lighten the mood and get me out of my feelings so I can be rational again. My husband has zero humor ability and while I love him wants to try to help or give solutions. Which I normally appreciate because he just wants me to be happy but there are times I need to just rant like a pissed off honey badger and the last thing I need it someone trying to fix my issue. I will talk to my dad if I need some blunt and honest advice as he doesn't sugarcoat anything. Just because my husband isn't my go to for every minute it doesn't mean he isn't my person or I won't need him later when things have calmed down and I need what he does best.

Answer

He probably knew not to come to you because you’d be upset, just like you’re upset the fact he came to you hours later. Clearly if they are having a meeting and he had to leave work early, it was serious and heated. I’m sure he doesn’t want to be questioned but needed support. You should show him support saying “hey i understand why you needed space, and when you’re ready I’m here for you.” Clearly he didn’t come to you first because it’s not a judgement free space

Answer

If he knew you’d ask questions, I wouldn’t want to tell you either. I mean you came to run here and rant. I wouldn’t be upset.

Answer

Dudes internalize this stuff. A lot of times we just want to chill and think to cool down. We don't need problems solved, just decompress on our own and open up when we are ready. It also keeps our loved ones from inadvertently being on the receiving end of a conversation regarding something they had nothing to do with.

Would you be upset?

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